Wednesday, August 16, 2006
it's been a long long time i havent been blogging.. i believe if u wan to blog then blog the truth.. right?... well... back to Me... days wasnt going very well for me.. recently i suffered from depression.. everytime i tok abt my famil, l shivered.. so many things in life that i cant take the pressure at some point of time in my life.. yes.. maybe i shall share wif u guyz...
My father wasnt discipline enough to come home on time when he is supposed to.. i have to call him 15mins before 12 to make sure he comes home on time.. i'm am always worried for him.. recently i overheard his conversation with my aunt that he will be in BIG TROUBLE.
that night i took up the courage to tok to my father about my sister, i think in someway he is starting to understand the situation my sister is in now.
i pray that things will be better for my family n my elder sister...
anyway this is the third day i havent get to tok to HIM due to his outfield.. I MISS HIM.. I REALLY DO>>
My father wasnt discipline enough to come home on time when he is supposed to.. i have to call him 15mins before 12 to make sure he comes home on time.. i'm am always worried for him.. recently i overheard his conversation with my aunt that he will be in BIG TROUBLE.
i dont want to see him suffer again... i'm hurt.
My younger Sister, Sandra, she is 13yrs old still going through the rebellious period in life.. she starting to over do things, she doesnt listen to us, recently was caught stealling my father's money, was caught smoking, coming home extremely late like 9pm plus..etc.. almost everynight i reached home, i see things everywhere the house and my sister crying in one corner, father angrily sitting in the other corner.. n the worst thing is my father's gf keep adding fuel into the fire.. she doesnt listen to anyone in the family. she always thing frenz is more important to anyone else, she hates my father because she thinks my father always side his gf. going home after an exhausting day of school n work is tired enough, facing workstress is also a test for me and yet coming home have to see the saddest side of a family could be will make me feel worst..
i felt very useless.. i didnt have time for my family.. i neglect my sister.. i felt very bad.. my father wants to send my sister to girl's home.. i stop him.. Do u tink she will learn by throwing her into the girl home without caring for her feelings.. i dont want this to happen... not now nor ever...
My elder sister, Shini, married to a terrible husband who torture her by locking her at home with the baby.. forgotten abt her meals n coming hm 11plus, throwing 2 buns on the floor like feeding a begger.. make me feel sad for my sister.. she suffered through depression n tried to kill herself. that night after my bf n i visited her, she lands in the hospital for drinking bleach.. now she is find. but still struggling through without having enough money for the baby toiletries.. her terrible husband dont work n yet he stop my sister from working.. wad kind of guy is this.. i donno wad i can do to help my sister...
My Health, recently mentally n physically i'm getting ill... getting on bed at 2am n waking myself at 6am is starting to be a problem for me.. after all this problem that comes into my life.. i almost broke down... but thank GOD for sending HER,sebrina, to hear me out... n thank GOD for sending HIM, andy, to make me realise that there is always a solution out to every problems.. he enlighten me when he tok to me abt my implusived attitude towards my younger sister problem.. i should have taken a step back to look at the bigger picture n try to know y and wad is the reason that my sister is behaving like this n not by blaming her for her mistakes.. one thing he makes me someone when he said he wans to go through the burdon with me.. i love you dear.. after i have tok to my sister i finally realise, she is affected by our family, she hate my Aunt (father gf), she always seems like breaking our relationship with our father, she always make a big fuss out of a small problem... i hate her too.. but i told my sister it cant be helped.. we cant control our father's life.. live on with it..
that night i took up the courage to tok to my father about my sister, i think in someway he is starting to understand the situation my sister is in now.
i think there is a part u shd make for sandra. putting her into the girlshome will not make things better.. u will broke her heart for this family if u do that..
we always say we care for her.. but how much have to explain to her to make her understand.. by saying NO to her request will not make her understand.. u have to explain to her why n how.. have u ask her y she is like that.. have u ask her why she doesnt listen to you.. No.. u didnt gave her a chance when problem comes.. u blame her.. u didnt ask her.. u accused her at time becoz u listen to ur gf... she is still very young.. a family needs communication.. i'm trying..
(getting her a job to make her accupied).. Daddy please dont do that... u will make her work for money n she will neglect her studies.. she will work as much as she can to get wad she wans.. n for that her education will go down.. i was once like this.. i dont wan her to follow my footstep..
i can get her social work.. definitely not WORK... i will try to get someone she is more comfortable to tok to... my aunt goes again add fuelling..
i pray that things will be better for my family n my elder sister...
i think i need to tok to someone who can help me with my situation that i cant handle...
anyway this is the third day i havent get to tok to HIM due to his outfield.. I MISS HIM.. I REALLY DO>>